The Third Week is Always the Hardest

Sometimes, I take my voice for granted. I didn’t realize how important it is and how much I needed it until this week. I haven’t had a voice since Saturday. That means that I haven’t been able to speak above  whisper - volume for five days. I haven’t been able to say a complete sentence without my voice faltering out towards the end for five days.  Add to that a runny nose, extreme coughing, and unbearable chills, The result is the hardest week  I’ve had since being here. I’ve been feeling really frustrated and discouraged about teaching, the ILP program, and just being here in general. I know being sick has a lot to do with it and that it will get better, but this week has been a struggle.

The food is becoming more of a trial for me. The first week or so, I was fine with it. Mainly because I was so hungry after not being fed the first weekend. Now it’s just unappetizing, especially since I’ve been sick. I can’t smell or taste anything, so that makes mashed potatoes and meatballs even more gross to swallow. I’ve barely been able to eat any of it, so I’ve been really hungry the last few days. That probably isn’t helping me recover from my illness, but I don’t care. I’ve been having fantasies about any normal American food. And it doesn’t help that Dima is always telling us we’re doing a million things wrong even coming and going from the school to eat the food.

Next, teaching and the students. First off, not all the kids are bad. There are a few really sweet kids who really listen to you and try. But the rest are complete hellions. Yesterday, we tried to do a really fun activity that involved leaving the classroom and walking through the school. They are always asking to go outside, so we thought they would be happy about at least leaving the room. The first group  absolutely loved it. It went off without a hitch. The students loved it, and I was thinking what a great activity we had come up with. Then the second group came, and they are the crazy, disobedient group. I knew it was going to be more of a struggle for them, but I figured we could still do it and keep them in line. I was wrong. The second we let them out of the classroom, they were all sprinting in a million directions. I literally chased a few kids all the way to the other side of the school. It was the angriest I have ever been. I would have said I yelled, but since I had no voice, I probably didn’t sound that mad to them. We immediately went back to the classroom. I told them we could never leave the classroom again since they had shown they couldn’t handle it. They felt bad for like a minute, then turned into insufferable little beasts again. A couple kids refuse to participate in the next activity. Dima comes in right at that minute, says “Listen to your teachers,” and watches them ignore us for five more minutes.

I know kids are going to be kids. But this is a different breed of kids. It doesn’t seem as if some of them receive any discipline at home. So how can we discipline them? Then Dima goes on about how it’s because we’re not entertaining enough, the activities aren’t fun enough, etc. Well, we planned a really fun and entertaining activity that the kids proved they couldn’t handle.  The mom of one of the boys in our class even called Dima and told him that we weren’t giving her son enough tokens. Well guess what, all he does is goof off, not pay attention to the any of the activities, and can barely speak and understand English let alone read it. And we’re supposed to give him as many tokens as the best English speakers who engage with us? It’s so frustrating and absolutely ridiculous.

On top of that, Casey from the ILP office came. It couldn’t have been a worst time. It is only three weeks into it and we’ve all been recovering from sicknesses. He basically came, spent a day sightseeing with Dima, talked to us for about an hour and a half total then left. The only thing he really told us was that we’re “doing great for the third week” and to “look in the manual” for ways to improve. But he approved the countries for our vacations, which is incredible. The only thing he told us was that it might be hard both physically and economically doing so many countries. We already knew this, since there have already been some divisions in the group  about where we should go, how many days we should spend in each country, etc. So we might be splitting into two groups for at least one of the vacations. We’ll have to see.

I know this post has come off as really negative. I know there is a lot to be grateful for. And I know there are exciting things to come. This week has just been difficult and hopefully I’ll get better next week.

Here's a picture of me at the castle to end with something happy.